Emotional Support Lambda

Introduction

Ever felt lonely and in need of some support while at work? Does your rubber duck 🐣 not talk back? Well look no further, the Emotional Support Lambda^TM1 has your back.

Warning

Emotional support not guarunteed!

Deployment

Okay so you're interested in your own Emotional Support Lambda^TM? Wondering how to deploy this marvel of modern Cloud Engineering?

All that stands between you and all the reassurance you will ever need are some pesky pre-requisites.

pre-requisites

1. An AWS account where you can safely use admin access.
   • This is by no means "production ready" there are some savagery bugs still in the code of every emotional support lambda.
   • There may also a serious deficiency in the will of the author to work out a least privillege IAM policy for this project.
2. Some AWS credentials.
   • Ideally of the ephemeral IAM Identity Center variety. But some brief tinkering with the provider.tf will allow you to do what you want with your creds.
3. Terraform installed at a version that is inline with the required version in versions.tf.
   • Or you can meddle with the version number, I am not the boss of you.
4. A desire for some emotional support from an uncaring machine.

Caution

The Emotional Support Lambda^TM has not been tested on willing participants (or otherwise) that don't require some form of emotional support.

Perhaps this is due to a selection bias when only testing the Emotional Support Lambda^TM on developers and engineers.

If you are not in genuine need of emotional support from Emotional Support Lambda^TM then we cannot guaruntee any results²

Configuring for deployment

1. clone this repo
2. open the cloned repo in your terminal
3. paste your IAM Identity center credentials
4. edit config/dev/backend.hcl to configure your S3 backend
   • or run it with a local backend I won't tell anyone
5. run terraform init --backend-config=./config/dev/backend.hcl in your terminal with the repo open
6. run terraform plan --var-file=./config/dev/variables.tfvars
   • this is optional but I would't trust me who know what I have added in this repo, if only the source code were viewable by the whole internet 🤔
7. run terraform apply --var-file=./config/dev/variables.tfvars
8. Invoke the Emotional Support Lambda^TM using your preferred method
   • people who don't know what a cassette tape is may prefer to use the AWS console
   • people who have seen a blackboard may want to use the AWS CLI
   • or you can overengineer your emotional support journey and use an AWS SDK, or even more terraform
9. When you feel adequately emotionally supported run terraform destroy --var-file=./config/dev/variables.tfvars

For lazy people using a Mac here are some aliases you can add to your ~/.zshrc

alias tfinit="terraform init --backend-config=./config/dev/backend.hcl"
alias tfplan="terraform plan --var-file=./config/dev/variables.tfvars"
alias tfapply="terraform apply --var-file=./config/dev/variables.tfvars"
alias tfdestroy="terraform destroy --var-file=./config/dev/variables.tfvars"

For linux users (yes we all know you "use arch BTW") or windows users, the aliases will come as part of a premium add-on service offered at a subscription fee for £5 per/install³, this has been decided by consulting with Electronic Arts⁴ on how to most effectively monetise features that should be free.

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Footnotes

Footnotes

1. No real trademark has been registered, this is intended for comedic purposes only. ↩

2. No result of emotional support is guarunteed for any user. ↩

3. No there will not be micro-transactions. ↩

4. EA had nothing to do with this project but the fact that you checked the footnotes really says something about EA doesn't it. ↩