feat: add emotional systems post (#92)

posts/emotional-investment-empathy-compassion.mdx

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+---
+title: 'Our Emotional Systems and How to Cultivate Them: Investment, Empathy,
+Compassion, and Self-Love'
+date: '2023-04-29'
+description:
+  'Discover the power of emotional investment, empathy, compassion, and self-love in this insightful blog post. Learn how to cultivate these qualities and enhance your relationships with others and yourself. Gain a deeper understanding of emotional intelligence and take steps towards a more fulfilling life.'
+---
+
+## Emotional investment
+
+Allowing yourself to be emotionally invested is essential in enhancing our
+lives, and it is a building block for compassion, love, and meaning. If you’re
+not emotionally invested in a movie, book, or TV show, you won’t get much out of
+it—the entertainment is diluted, and you are robbed of potential new
+understanding. In order to be emotionally invested, we need to be (You guessed!)
+open with our emotions. Unfortunately, this is where the difficulty lies, as
+what we learn in our society is not how to work with our emotions but how to
+block and avoid them, i.e., screen time, drugs, and alcohol abuse (Hendel,
+2018). Furthermore, we are afflicted by things that can harm our ability to
+regulate and process emotions, such as internet and video game addiction.
+
+How do we define investment? Typically, we think of investment in monetary
+terms: you invest money to make money, or you invest in education. The goal is
+to have the asset appreciate, and it can either do that or not.
+
+A similarity between typical and emotional investments is that we can quit them.
+Like an investor backing out to minimize losses, one may stop reading a novel
+because it became too creepy. However, increasing emotional investment is not
+something we can control. We rarely even consider it: emotional investment
+typically arises when we question whether we enjoy something, like a TV show or
+novel. For example, we might tell a friend that we don’t mind if they watch a TV
+show episode without us because we were not [emotionally] invested.
+
+One of the best things that can happen by being emotionally invested in
+something is a greater understanding of life or people. Keeping in mind that the
+process of emotional investing is open-ended, it might look like this: You first
+pick up a novel because it was highly rated and you like some of the topics it
+covers. Then, as you watch the characters develop, you start to draw parallels
+with some people or patterns of thought you’ve encountered: thus allowing you to
+understand and empathize with others better.
+
+This phenomenon happened when I read Bonnie Garmus’s novel, _Lessons in
+Chemistry_, where the main character views everything in life, including
+motherhood and prejudice, through a scientific lens. A characteristic of these
+highly logical people that stuck with me was the tendency to plan:
+
+> ‘Life is a mystery, isn’t it? People who try to plan it inevitably end up
+> disappointed.’ She nodded. She was a planner. She was disappointed (Garmus,
+> 2022, p. 209)
+
+Those with scientific minds love to prepare for the worst and plan things weeks
+in advance, but life often throws curveballs. When our careful and detailed
+plans get messed up, it’s not unnatural for planners to be frustrated or
+disappointed. By understanding this tendency, one can develop empathy toward
+these patterns.
+
+Emotional investment only sometimes gives us a greater understanding of life or
+people, which is okay. Most entertainment exists purely to create joy.
+Nevertheless, like how relief cannot exist without pain, joy needs a contrast.
+Whether the pleasure in something comes from winning on a bet, overcoming
+misfortune, or solving challenging problems, these scenarios only affect you to
+the degree of your emotional investment.
+
+Unfortunately, avoiding and blocking our emotions is becoming widespread due to
+our environment and the modern addiction to distraction. In addition, internet
+and video game addictions decrease the ability to regulate and process emotions
+(Cheng & Liu, 2020; Ko et al., 2015), adding to the vicious cycle of distracting
+yourself from listening to your internals.
+
+However, the worst case is when media feeds off your emotions, resulting in a
+cycle of anxiety. A classic example of this is social media. In 2016, Woods &
+Scott used the Social Media Use Integration Scale (Jenkins-Guarnieri, Wright, &
+Johnson, 2013) to assess emotional investment in social media. The scale has
+items you agree/disagree on, like “I get upset when I can't log on to social
+media.” Over 467 pupils at a secondary school in the United Kingdom,
+Taylor-Jackson & Moustafa (2020) summarize Woods & Scott’s results:
+
+> They found significant positive correlations between higher anxiety levels,
+> greater social media use, and emotional investment in social media. Similarly,
+> higher depression levels were associated with increased social media use and
+> emotional investment in social media. The relationship between self-esteem and
+> social media use was found to be negative, whereby lower self-esteem scores
+> were associated with higher levels of social media use and emotional
+> investment in social media (Woods & Scott, 2016, as cited in Taylor-Jackson &
+> Moustafa, 2020)
+
+Social media can have benefits like connecting with friends and providing
+entertainment, but becoming emotionally invested in it has adverse effects—there
+is always the pressure to fit in and present yourself as a perfect being, not to
+mention FoMo. Some media outlets also use your emotional investment against you,
+which is true in fear-mongering and McCarthyism.
+
+On the other hand, the best thing to do with emotional investment is to direct
+it toward people. Empathy cannot be without sacrificing some emotions to imagine
+what others are going through. You can act upon these feelings and foster
+compassion with sufficient emotional investment. Before going further, let’s
+define the two:
+
+## Empathy
+
+Empathy is the ability to understand and respond to the unique affective
+experiences of another person (Decety & Jackson, 2006). If we consider empathy
+at the level of experience, it is essentially a psychological construct that
+denotes a sense of similarity between one’s own feelings and those expressed by
+another person (Seiler & Craig, 2016). We can also view empathy as an
+interaction between two individuals who share each other’s experiences and
+feelings. However, this exchange of feelings does not necessarily mean that one
+will act or even feel compelled to act in support or sympathize.
+
+Decety and Jackson (2006) presented empathy as an inductive process resulting
+from the interaction of two elements: mirror neurons activation, allowing an
+internal representation of the other person’s affect as a feeling or felt-sense
+and cognitive processes, allowing perspective-taking, self-consciousness, and
+emotional regulation (Bibeau et al., 2016).
+
+The key here is that empathy so defined does not necessarily imply a desire to
+help, nor does it automatically lead to action (Bibeau et al., 2016).
+
+## Compassion
+
+The online Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines compassion as “a sympathetic
+consciousness of other's distress together with a desire to alleviate it”
+(Bibeau et al., 2016). ​​Siegel and Germer (2012) proposed a shorthand
+operational definition of compassion as “the experience of suffering with the
+wish to alleviate it” (p.12, as cited in Bibeau et al., 2016). Note the emphasis
+on another one’s distress; empathy pertains to any emotion.
+
+## The Modern Decline in Empathy
+
+Empathy has never been more important due to our modern environment. Today, we
+are spending an increasing proportion of our time with computers. As machines
+are incapable of emotion, we may view them as nothing more than a tool, thus
+giving rise to uncompassionate treatment. With increased computer usage, we may
+treat humans the same: less compassionate and devoid of empathy.
+
+Furthermore, computers are not capable of empathy. Even with the recent
+developments in AI chatbots, this still holds; ChatGPT agrees:
+
+> N: Are computers or AI capable of empathetic thinking?
+
+> ChatGPT: As an AI language model, I can provide information on this topic.
+> While computers and AI can simulate empathy to a certain extent, they do not
+> have true empathetic thinking like humans.
+
+> ChatGPT: Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of
+> others. While AI can process vast amounts of data and recognize patterns in
+> human emotions, it lacks the emotional intelligence and subjective experience
+> necessary for true empathetic thinking.
+
+> ChatGPT: However, researchers are exploring ways to create AI systems that can
+> better recognize and respond to human emotions, such as facial recognition
+> software, speech recognition, and natural language processing. These efforts
+> may improve the ability of AI to simulate empathy, but they are unlikely to
+> replicate the full range of human emotions and experiences that underlie true
+> empathetic thinking.
+
+In addition, the communication systems we use inhibit empathy. For example, text
+messages and phone calls do not let us pick up facial expressions, body
+language, tone, or clues about what we want to discuss and how we feel. Video
+calls under perfect circumstances could replicate an in-person interaction and
+produce empathy, but it is unlikely. This is not to say that these forms of
+communication cause more harm than good—they allow for ease of communication—but
+rather, it is vital to practice empathy given our environment.
+
+Lastly, another inhibiting factor towards the development of empathy is its
+evolutionary aspect. We tend to have the most empathy for others who look or act
+like us, others who have suffered similarly, or those who share a common goal.
+The truth is that empathy is not always an equal opportunity benefactor (Kale et
+al., 2011, as cited in Reiss, 2017). Therefore, we must avoid this bias.
+
+## Implications
+
+Some undesirable outcomes of this decline in empathy are as follows:
+
+> Human manifestations of these problems are “the social retardation of
+> computer-dependent youth” (Fomichov & Fomichova, 2014) and online harassment
+> or cyber-bullying (Heirman & Walrave, 2008; Hinduja & Patchin, 2010; Slonje &
+> Smith, 2008; Smith et al., 2008). These have become significant problems
+> facing modern society.
+
+> Other examples of technology seeming to reduce empathy are nurses becoming
+> less empathetic when using increasing amounts of technology in intensive care
+> units (Brunt, 1985), technology reducing the level of service in customer care
+> environments (Gorry & Westbrook, 2011), and students becoming dehumanized when
+> teachers rely excessively on computers (Nissenbaum & Walker, 1998). (Seiler &
+> Craig, 2016)
+
+Empathy is especially crucial in healthcare, and those in that field must be
+wary of how our environment and biases can decrease compassion. Uncompassionate
+care and treatment are devoid of empathy resulting in dissatisfied patients who
+are much less likely to follow treatment recommendations, resulting in poorer
+health outcomes and damaged trust in health providers (Reiss, 2017).
+
+In the case of students being dehumanized when teachers rely excessively on
+computers, students may lose interest and meaning in that class. In addition, I
+have found that the best notes come from teachers who use the chalkboard, not
+digital slides: it’s the most similar to pencil and paper (which also your mind
+retains better).
+
+## Cultivating Empathy and Compassion
+
+Before recommending solutions, we must examine “How do we cultivate empathy and
+compassion” in more detail.
+
+A question to consider is Plato’s age-old question, “Can virtue be taught?
+Empathy and compassion need experience and practice; you cannot study to become
+empathetic. There are some methods to practice it, however. For example, instead
+of focusing from the ground up, we can take the opposite approach and foster
+love and kindness.
+
+There is a type of meditation, loving-kindness, and compassion, which has been
+scientifically proven to increase empathy and compassion (Bibeau et al., 2016).
+In this type of meditation, one imagines one person at a time: someone you
+respect (teacher), a friend, a neutral, yourself, someone you have negative
+feelings towards, and you direct phrases like
+
+- May you be happy
+- May you be free
+- May you be at peace
+
+and mustering up as much compassion and love as possible. For more on this, see
+[How To Love Yourself | Meditation](https://youtu.be/FQ1d5rC062c) (Kanoija,
+2022). Besides enabling you to love yourself and others, a nice side effect of
+practicing self-compassion is that it also fosters the intrinsic motivation to
+learn and grow, promotes health-related behaviors, and is beneficial for
+interpersonal relationships (Neff, 2012; Neff & Pommier, 2012; as cited in
+Bibeau et al., 2016).
+
+Directing compassion toward yourself may be difficult (Bibeau et al., 2016;
+Kanoija, 2022); Akana (2023) summarizes why:
+
+> Cultivating self-love feels so abstract. It’s tough to know where to start and
+> what to do. Especially if you’re someone who was told at a young age that your
+> lovability is tied up in external factors like achievement, your body’s
+> aesthetic, or your lack of boundaries (Akana, 2023)
+
+Akana suggests a couple more methods for self-love; one is practicing your love
+language on yourself (even for physical touch!). Another is working on the inner
+voice, which Akana (2023) puts so succinctly: “When you’re in an anxiety spiral,
+you self-soothe. When you’re hurt and angry, you validate yourself. Become your
+own best friend” (Akana, 2023)
+
+Unfortunately, this suffers the same fate as much of self-help. Action is
+arduous and time-consuming—Akana herself said this process took around five
+years (Akana, 2023). Nonetheless, empathy, compassion, and love are worth it. I
+would like to finish with a quote from the Dalai Lama: “Love and compassion are
+necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.”
+
+## References
+
+Akana, A. (2023, April 13). How to actually cultivate self-love [Video].
+YouTube. https://youtu.be/D9L24a2wfEU
+
+Cheng, H., & Liu, J. (2020). Alterations in Amygdala Connectivity in Internet
+Addiction Disorder. Scientific reports, 10(1), 2370.
+https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-020-59195-w
+
+Decety, J., & Jackson, P. L. (2006). A Social-Neuroscience Perspective on
+Empathy. _Current Directions in Psychological Science_, 15(2), 54–58.
+https://doi.org/10.1111/j.0963-7214.2006.00406.x
+
+Hendel, H. J. (2018). Ignoring Your Emotions Is Bad for Your Health. Here's What
+to Do About It. Time.
+https://time.com/5163576/ignoring-your-emotions-bad-for-your-health/
+
+Kale, E., Finset, A., Eikeland, H. L., & Gulbrandsen, P. (2011). Emotional cues
+and concerns in hospital encounters with non-Western immigrants as compared with
+Norwegians: an exploratory study. _Patient education and counseling_, 84(3),
+325–331. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.pec.2011.05.009
+
+Kanoija, A. (2022, March 30). How To Love Yourself | Meditation [Video].
+YouTube. https://youtu.be/FQ1d5rC062c
+
+Ko, C. H., Hsieh, T. J., Wang, P. W., Lin, W. C., Yen, C. F., Chen, C. S., &
+Yen, J. Y. (2015). Altered gray matter density and disrupted functional
+connectivity of the amygdala in adults with Internet gaming disorder. Progress
+in neuro-psychopharmacology & biological psychiatry, 57, 185–192.
+https://doi.org/10.1016/j.pnpbp.2014.11.003
+
+Riess H. (2017). The Science of Empathy. _Journal of patient experience_, 4(2),
+74–77. https://doi.org/10.1177/2374373517699267
+
+Seiler, R. N., & Craig, P. (2016). Empathetic Technology. In Tettegah, S., &
+Noble, S. U. (Eds.), _Emotions, Technology, and Design_ (pp. 55-77). Academic
+Press. https://doi.org/10.1016/C2014-0-00787-3
+
+Taylor-Jackson, J., & Moustafa, A. A. (2020). The relationships between social
+media use and factors relating to depression. In Moustafa, A. A. (Ed.), _The
+Nature of Depression_ (pp. 171–182). Academic Press.
+https://doi.org/10.1016/B978-0-12-817676-4.00010-9
+
+Woods, H., & Scott H. (2016). #Sleepyteens: Social Media Use in adolescence is
+associated with poor sleep quality, anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.
+_Journal of Adolescence_. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.adolescence.2016.05.008