Use upsert for subshare updates

[PVince81]

Master port of #34769.

In this instance the share attributes from #33994 are in, which are of type "JSON". This PR's CI run will demonstrate whether upsert properly works with JSON DB fields...

cc @DeepDiver1975 @mrow4a

[codecov]

Codecov Report

Merging #34952 into master will decrease coverage by 0.01%.
The diff coverage is 100%.

@@             Coverage Diff              @@
##             master   #34952      +/-   ##
============================================
- Coverage     65.38%   65.37%   -0.02%     
+ Complexity    18592    18591       -1     
============================================
  Files          1213     1213              
  Lines         70407    70386      -21     
  Branches       1295     1295              
============================================
- Hits          46034    46013      -21     
  Misses        23999    23999              
  Partials        374      374

Flag	Coverage Δ	Complexity Δ
#javascript	52.85% <ø> (ø)	0 <ø> (ø)	⬇️
#phpunit	66.82% <100%> (-0.02%)	18591 <0> (-1)

Impacted Files	Coverage Δ	Complexity Δ
lib/private/Share20/DefaultShareProvider.php	98.37% <100%> (-0.06%)	120 <0> (-1)
apps/files_trashbin/lib/Expiration.php	96.55% <0%> (-1.73%)	29% <0%> (ø)
lib/private/Server.php	86.68% <0%> (+0.11%)	253% <0%> (ø)	⬇️
...eratedfilesharing/lib/Controller/OcmController.php	66.26% <0%> (+0.2%)	30% <0%> (ø)	⬇️

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[PVince81]

no issues, great!

[jvillafanez]

in upsert we trust