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excuses.txt
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excuses.txt
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Actually, that's a feature.
Are you sure you don't have a problem with your internet connection?
Are you sure you want it to work that way?
Are you sure you've installed the latest patches to your browser?
Are you sure you've installed the latest patches to your operating system?
Are you sure?
But we're a small team so what do you expect?
But we're a startup so what do you expect?
But we're underresourced so what do you expect?
Everyone was sick.
Everything looks fine on my end.
Have you cleared your cache?
Have you tried refreshing your browser?
Have you updated your browser?
Have you updated your OS?
I couldn't find any library that can do that.
I couldn't reproduce that error.
I did a quick fix for that already, it must have been reverted.
I did a quick fix last time but it broke when we rebooted.
I didn't anticipate that I would make any errors.
I didn't create that part of the program.
I didn't write that part of the system.
I don't remember that in the original specification.
I don't see anything in my error logs.
I forgot my computer.
I forgot to commit the code that fixes that.
I found a bug in the Framework.
I had too many projects so I had to rush that feature.
I have too many other high priority things to do right now.
I haven't been able to reproduce that.
I haven't had a chance to run that code yet.
I haven't had any experience with that before.
I haven't pushed the fix up yet.
I haven't touched that code in weeks.
I just need one more day to work on that.
I must have been stress testing our production server.
I never received a ticket for that.
I thought I'd finished that.
I thought that was signed off?
I thought you signed off on that.
I told you yesterday it would be done by the end of today.
I usually get a notification when that happens.
I was busy fixing more important issues.
I was sick.
I was sure that had been fixed.
I wasn't told how to do that so I had to guess which way the clients wanted it.
I'll have to fix that at a later date.
I'm not familiar with it so I didn't fix it in case I made it worse.
I'm pretty sure that works most of the time.
I'm pretty sure that's the way it is meant to work.
I'm still working on that part of the codebase.
I'm still working on that.
I'm sure that was written by a contractor.
I'm sure that was written by a freelancer.
I've never seen that happen before!
Is that not supposed to happen?
It can't be broken because all the unittests pass.
It has always worked before.
It has never done that before.
It is an intermittent error, just hit refresh.
It is unlikely to happen again.
It must be a browser cache error.
It must be a hardware problem.
It must be a timezone issue.
It must be a unicode issue.
It must be a virus on your system.
It must be an issue with the corporate firewall.
It must be missing some dependencies.
It must be the corporate proxy.
It probably won't happen again.
It was only a small change so I didn't think it needed tests.
It was probably a race condition.
It was working in my head.
It worked before.
It works in my dev environment.
It works perfectly on my machine.
It works, but it's not been tested.
It's a browser issue
It's a compatibility issue.
It's always been like that.
It's always worked that way.
It's just a warning, not an error.
It's most likely a forwarding proxy server that is caching the response.
It's never done that before.
It's never shown unexpected behavior like this before.
It's not a bug, it's a feature.
It's not like I can't write that fix in like 5 minutes.
No, I didn't get any email from you about that.
Nothing has changed in the code.
Oh, that was just a temporary fix.
Oh, that was only supposed to be a placeholder.
Oh, you said you DIDN'T want that to happen?
Our code quality is up to industry standards.
PEBKAC.
Someone must have changed my code.
That code was written by the last dev.
That code wasn't meant to be in production.
That error means it was successful.
That feature is a nice-to-have.
That feature is low priority.
That feature is on our roadmap.
That feature is outside of the project scope.
That feature is slated for Phase II.
That feature isn't due in this phase.
That feature would be outside the currently defined scope.
That has always worked that way.
That is how we were asked to build it.
That is part of the old system.
That isn't part of my job description.
That issue was filed under a different release version.
That output is only wrong 99% of the time.
That output is only wrong half the time.
That software should have been updated ages ago.
That was like that before I started here.
That was literally a one in a million error.
That wasn't in the original specification.
That works at least 80% of the time.
That wouldn't be economically feasible.
That's a character encoding issue.
That's a data model issue.
That's a feature.
That's a hardware issue.
That's a known bug with the framework.
That's a known bug with the programming language implementation.
That's a problem with a third party application.
That's a support issue.
That's a training issue.
That's a UI problem.
That's a user issue.
That's a UX problem.
That's a vendor issue,
That's already fixed. It just hasn't taken effect yet.
That's an architecture issue.
That's an industry best practice..
That's an issue with our legacy software.
That's an issue with our legacy system.
That's been fixed on another branch.
That's been fixed, but the code is yet to be released.
That's just temporary and we're still working on it.
That's not a scalable solution.
That's still a work in progress.
The 3rd party API must be down.
The behaviour is in the original specification.
The browser must have dropped some packets.
The client application must have dropped some packets.
The client requested an XML response, but JSON would've solved the issue.
The client requested that change.
The contractor that worked here for a month? Yeah, she wrote that.
The design makes it difficult to build this correctly.
The dev that worked here for a month? Yeah, he wrote that.
The developer who coded that doesn't work here anymore.
The documentation for that feature is wrong.
The error means it has processed correctly.
The existing design makes it difficult to do the right thing.
The failovers must have failed.
The file must have been corrupted.
The fix for that is in progress.
The issue tracker was updated and some issues were lost.
The program was never meant to work that way.
The specification contained conflicting requirements.
The specification was ambiguous.
The stakeholder was sick.
The tests didn't cover that edge case.
The WYSIWYG editor must have added that.
There must be a problem with the virtual machine.
There must be something strange with your data.
There must have been a miscommunication during the requirements phase.
There must have been a problem with the request.
There's only a one in a million chance of that error occurring.
This is the first time anyone has mentioned it.
This wasn't filed in the issue tracker.
We broke that deliberately to test it.
We contracted that work out months ago.
We didn't have the budget to build it properly.
We didn't have time to QA that feature.
We don't have the bandwidth to address that at the moment.
We don't have the budget to address that at the moment.
We have to do it that way for security reasons.
We must have been stress testing the server.
We outsourced that part.
We were never asked to make it do that.
We weren't given enough time to write unittests.
We've not been able to reproduce the problem.
We've not received any error notifications.
Well, at least it displays a very pretty error.
Well, I've never seen that before.
Well, that's a first.
What did you do wrong to make it crash?
What did you type in wrong to get it to crash?
Where were you when the program blew up?
Why do they want it that way?
You might need more end-user training.
You must be looking at the wrong version.
You must be running the wrong version.
You must have done something wrong.
You sure you didn't get my email about that?
You're doing it wrong.
Your browser must be caching the old version.
Your email regarding that issue must have hit my spam filter.
Your internet connection mustn't be working.