diff --git a/test/common.js b/test/common.js
index af6e27c4db3c46..dcd830420c3c6f 100644
--- a/test/common.js
+++ b/test/common.js
@@ -464,6 +464,12 @@ function fail(msg) {
 }
 exports.fail = fail;
 
+exports.mustNotCall = function(msg) {
+  return function mustNotCall() {
+    fail(msg || 'function should not have been called');
+  };
+};
+
 exports.skip = function(msg) {
   console.log(`1..0 # Skipped: ${msg}`);
 };
diff --git a/test/debugger/test-debugger-remote.js b/test/debugger/test-debugger-remote.js
index fb79fb83ee733f..a1a95edd6e941a 100644
--- a/test/debugger/test-debugger-remote.js
+++ b/test/debugger/test-debugger-remote.js
@@ -15,8 +15,8 @@ const interfacer = spawn(process.execPath, ['debug', `localhost:${PORT}`]);
 interfacer.stdout.setEncoding('utf-8');
 
 // fail the test if either of the processes exit normally
-const debugBreakExit = common.fail.bind(null, 'child should not exit normally');
-const debugExit = common.fail.bind(null, 'interfacer should not exit normally');
+const debugBreakExit = common.mustNotCall('child should not exit normally');
+const debugExit = common.mustNotCall('interfacer should not exit normally');
 child.on('exit', debugBreakExit);
 interfacer.on('exit', debugExit);
 
diff --git a/test/inspector/inspector-helper.js b/test/inspector/inspector-helper.js
index e22ca87dff7858..8ef6e5cb6d7f33 100644
--- a/test/inspector/inspector-helper.js
+++ b/test/inspector/inspector-helper.js
@@ -116,7 +116,8 @@ function makeBufferingDataCallback(dataCallback) {
 }
 
 function timeout(message, multiplicator) {
-  return setTimeout(() => common.fail(message), TIMEOUT * (multiplicator || 1));
+  return setTimeout(common.mustNotCall(message),
+                    TIMEOUT * (multiplicator || 1));
 }
 
 const TestSession = function(socket, harness) {
@@ -398,7 +399,7 @@ Harness.prototype.wsHandshake = function(devtoolsUrl, tests, readyCallback) {
       });
     }
     enqueue(tests);
-  }).on('response', () => common.fail('Upgrade was not received'));
+  }).on('response', common.mustNotCall('Upgrade was not received'));
 };
 
 Harness.prototype.runFrontendSession = function(tests) {
diff --git a/test/internet/test-http-dns-fail.js b/test/internet/test-http-dns-fail.js
index 37abe6ed14b70b..94f2487173c266 100644
--- a/test/internet/test-http-dns-fail.js
+++ b/test/internet/test-http-dns-fail.js
@@ -16,7 +16,7 @@ function httpreq(count) {
     port: 80,
     path: '/',
     method: 'GET'
-  }, common.fail);
+  }, common.mustNotCall());
 
   req.on('error', common.mustCall((e) => {
     assert.strictEqual(e.code, 'ENOTFOUND');
diff --git a/test/internet/test-net-connect-timeout.js b/test/internet/test-net-connect-timeout.js
index 95e25614ffa2b7..85937624238bb6 100644
--- a/test/internet/test-net-connect-timeout.js
+++ b/test/internet/test-net-connect-timeout.js
@@ -26,4 +26,4 @@ socket.on('timeout', common.mustCall(function() {
   socket.destroy();
 }));
 
-socket.on('connect', common.fail);
+socket.on('connect', common.mustNotCall());
diff --git a/test/internet/test-net-connect-unref.js b/test/internet/test-net-connect-unref.js
index f3be8409844702..512e56f773a966 100644
--- a/test/internet/test-net-connect-unref.js
+++ b/test/internet/test-net-connect-unref.js
@@ -8,6 +8,6 @@ const client = net.createConnection(53, '8.8.8.8', function() {
   client.unref();
 });
 
-client.on('close', common.fail);
+client.on('close', common.mustNotCall());
 
-setTimeout(common.fail, TIMEOUT).unref();
+setTimeout(common.mustNotCall(), TIMEOUT).unref();
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-child-process-kill.js b/test/parallel/test-child-process-kill.js
index 758129e1062c27..e0e951610dc146 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-child-process-kill.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-child-process-kill.js
@@ -5,7 +5,7 @@ const spawn = require('child_process').spawn;
 const cat = spawn(common.isWindows ? 'cmd' : 'cat');
 
 cat.stdout.on('end', common.mustCall(function() {}));
-cat.stderr.on('data', common.fail);
+cat.stderr.on('data', common.mustNotCall());
 cat.stderr.on('end', common.mustCall(function() {}));
 
 cat.on('exit', common.mustCall(function(code, signal) {
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-child-process-recv-handle.js b/test/parallel/test-child-process-recv-handle.js
index 5257c46b544a57..d11bd4a0e151dd 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-child-process-recv-handle.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-child-process-recv-handle.js
@@ -24,7 +24,7 @@ function master() {
   });
   proc.stdout.on('data', common.mustCall((data) => {
     assert.strictEqual(data.toString(), 'ok\r\n');
-    net.createServer(common.fail).listen(0, function() {
+    net.createServer(common.mustNotCall()).listen(0, function() {
       handle = this._handle;
       proc.send('one');
       proc.send('two', handle);
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-child-process-send-returns-boolean.js b/test/parallel/test-child-process-send-returns-boolean.js
index 460c2b0022fc6b..379f76a67390b9 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-child-process-send-returns-boolean.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-child-process-send-returns-boolean.js
@@ -20,7 +20,7 @@ s.on('exit', function() {
   handle.close();
 });
 
-net.createServer(common.fail).listen(0, function() {
+net.createServer(common.mustNotCall()).listen(0, function() {
   handle = this._handle;
   assert.strictEqual(s.send('one', handle), true);
   assert.strictEqual(s.send('two', handle), true);
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-child-process-spawn-shell.js b/test/parallel/test-child-process-spawn-shell.js
index 01411144bdc48f..444d1eb063ca4a 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-child-process-spawn-shell.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-child-process-spawn-shell.js
@@ -7,7 +7,7 @@ const cp = require('child_process');
 const doesNotExist = cp.spawn('does-not-exist', {shell: true});
 
 assert.notStrictEqual(doesNotExist.spawnfile, 'does-not-exist');
-doesNotExist.on('error', common.fail);
+doesNotExist.on('error', common.mustNotCall());
 doesNotExist.on('exit', common.mustCall((code, signal) => {
   assert.strictEqual(signal, null);
 
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-child-process-spawn-typeerror.js b/test/parallel/test-child-process-spawn-typeerror.js
index 3e3e38153de35c..14f3127dbe7b59 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-child-process-spawn-typeerror.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-child-process-spawn-typeerror.js
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@ const empty = common.fixturesDir + '/empty.js';
 
 assert.throws(function() {
   const child = spawn(invalidcmd, 'this is not an array');
-  child.on('error', common.fail);
+  child.on('error', common.mustNotCall());
 }, TypeError);
 
 // verify that valid argument combinations do not throw
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-child-process-stdin.js b/test/parallel/test-child-process-stdin.js
index eccced0c32d7be..8782e46f8f7229 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-child-process-stdin.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-child-process-stdin.js
@@ -24,7 +24,7 @@ cat.stdout.on('data', function(chunk) {
 
 cat.stdout.on('end', common.mustCall(function() {}));
 
-cat.stderr.on('data', common.fail);
+cat.stderr.on('data', common.mustNotCall());
 
 cat.stderr.on('end', common.mustCall(function() {}));
 
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-child-process-stdout-flush.js b/test/parallel/test-child-process-stdout-flush.js
index cec3ccdebfb4d5..97d421afd3c125 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-child-process-stdout-flush.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-child-process-stdout-flush.js
@@ -12,7 +12,7 @@ const child = spawn(process.argv[0], [sub, n]);
 let count = 0;
 
 child.stderr.setEncoding('utf8');
-child.stderr.on('data', common.fail);
+child.stderr.on('data', common.mustNotCall());
 
 child.stdout.setEncoding('utf8');
 child.stdout.on('data', (data) => {
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-cluster-bind-privileged-port.js b/test/parallel/test-cluster-bind-privileged-port.js
index 3e062697fd2fea..af461bee4f9ee2 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-cluster-bind-privileged-port.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-cluster-bind-privileged-port.js
@@ -19,8 +19,8 @@ if (cluster.isMaster) {
     assert.strictEqual(exitCode, 0);
   }));
 } else {
-  const s = net.createServer(common.fail);
-  s.listen(42, common.fail.bind(null, 'listen should have failed'));
+  const s = net.createServer(common.mustNotCall());
+  s.listen(42, common.mustNotCall('listen should have failed'));
   s.on('error', common.mustCall((err) => {
     assert.strictEqual(err.code, 'EACCES');
     process.disconnect();
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-cluster-bind-twice.js b/test/parallel/test-cluster-bind-twice.js
index bb46bfcf3af00f..215d4829ce215e 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-cluster-bind-twice.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-cluster-bind-twice.js
@@ -60,9 +60,10 @@ if (!id) {
 } else if (id === 'one') {
   if (cluster.isMaster) return startWorker();
 
-  http.createServer(common.fail).listen(common.PORT, common.mustCall(() => {
-    process.send('READY');
-  }));
+  http.createServer(common.mustNotCall())
+    .listen(common.PORT, common.mustCall(() => {
+      process.send('READY');
+    }));
 
   process.on('message', common.mustCall((m) => {
     if (m === 'QUIT') process.exit();
@@ -70,11 +71,11 @@ if (!id) {
 } else if (id === 'two') {
   if (cluster.isMaster) return startWorker();
 
-  const server = http.createServer(common.fail);
+  const server = http.createServer(common.mustNotCall());
   process.on('message', common.mustCall((m) => {
     if (m === 'QUIT') process.exit();
     assert.strictEqual(m, 'START');
-    server.listen(common.PORT, common.fail);
+    server.listen(common.PORT, common.mustNotCall());
     server.on('error', common.mustCall((e) => {
       assert.strictEqual(e.code, 'EADDRINUSE');
       process.send(e.code);
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-cluster-eaddrinuse.js b/test/parallel/test-cluster-eaddrinuse.js
index a0936ef4b9d471..d2baa88c6f6979 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-cluster-eaddrinuse.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-cluster-eaddrinuse.js
@@ -11,7 +11,7 @@ const net = require('net');
 const id = '' + process.argv[2];
 
 if (id === 'undefined') {
-  const server = net.createServer(common.fail);
+  const server = net.createServer(common.mustNotCall());
   server.listen(common.PORT, function() {
     const worker = fork(__filename, ['worker']);
     worker.on('message', function(msg) {
@@ -22,14 +22,14 @@ if (id === 'undefined') {
     });
   });
 } else if (id === 'worker') {
-  let server = net.createServer(common.fail);
-  server.listen(common.PORT, common.fail);
+  let server = net.createServer(common.mustNotCall());
+  server.listen(common.PORT, common.mustNotCall());
   server.on('error', common.mustCall(function(e) {
     assert(e.code, 'EADDRINUSE');
     process.send('stop-listening');
     process.once('message', function(msg) {
       if (msg !== 'stopped-listening') return;
-      server = net.createServer(common.fail);
+      server = net.createServer(common.mustNotCall());
       server.listen(common.PORT, common.mustCall(function() {
         server.close();
       }));
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-cluster-listening-port.js b/test/parallel/test-cluster-listening-port.js
index ce86205c1e792a..84bf49fa96c81f 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-cluster-listening-port.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-cluster-listening-port.js
@@ -15,5 +15,5 @@ if (cluster.isMaster) {
     worker.kill();
   }));
 } else {
-  net.createServer(common.fail).listen(0);
+  net.createServer(common.mustNotCall()).listen(0);
 }
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-cluster-net-listen.js b/test/parallel/test-cluster-net-listen.js
index d065c466f26621..7ab142e85ba920 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-cluster-net-listen.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-cluster-net-listen.js
@@ -11,5 +11,5 @@ if (cluster.isMaster) {
   }));
 } else {
   // listen() without port should not trigger a libuv assert
-  net.createServer(common.fail).listen(process.exit);
+  net.createServer(common.mustNotCall()).listen(process.exit);
 }
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-cluster-rr-ref.js b/test/parallel/test-cluster-rr-ref.js
index 95d121df875bb8..19420fed83f9f1 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-cluster-rr-ref.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-cluster-rr-ref.js
@@ -9,7 +9,7 @@ if (cluster.isMaster) {
     if (msg === 'done') this.kill();
   });
 } else {
-  const server = net.createServer(common.fail);
+  const server = net.createServer(common.mustNotCall());
   server.listen(common.PORT, function() {
     server.unref();
     server.ref();
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-cluster-setup-master-argv.js b/test/parallel/test-cluster-setup-master-argv.js
index 72211918eff0cb..ba6b366bbe3d08 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-cluster-setup-master-argv.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-cluster-setup-master-argv.js
@@ -3,7 +3,7 @@ const common = require('../common');
 const assert = require('assert');
 const cluster = require('cluster');
 
-setTimeout(common.fail.bind(assert, 'setup not emitted'), 1000).unref();
+setTimeout(common.mustNotCall('setup not emitted'), 1000).unref();
 
 cluster.on('setup', common.mustCall(function() {
   const clusterArgs = cluster.settings.args;
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-cluster-shared-handle-bind-error.js b/test/parallel/test-cluster-shared-handle-bind-error.js
index 08d0cd3e080759..91a23cad4e3f09 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-cluster-shared-handle-bind-error.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-cluster-shared-handle-bind-error.js
@@ -8,7 +8,7 @@ if (cluster.isMaster) {
   // Master opens and binds the socket and shares it with the worker.
   cluster.schedulingPolicy = cluster.SCHED_NONE;
   // Hog the TCP port so that when the worker tries to bind, it'll fail.
-  const server = net.createServer(common.fail);
+  const server = net.createServer(common.mustNotCall());
 
   server.listen(common.PORT, common.mustCall(() => {
     const worker = cluster.fork();
@@ -18,8 +18,8 @@ if (cluster.isMaster) {
     }));
   }));
 } else {
-  const s = net.createServer(common.fail);
-  s.listen(common.PORT, common.fail.bind(null, 'listen should have failed'));
+  const s = net.createServer(common.mustNotCall());
+  s.listen(common.PORT, common.mustNotCall('listen should have failed'));
   s.on('error', common.mustCall((err) => {
     assert.strictEqual(err.code, 'EADDRINUSE');
     process.disconnect();
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-cluster-shared-handle-bind-privileged-port.js b/test/parallel/test-cluster-shared-handle-bind-privileged-port.js
index c58aa5393519ad..b6800b12110d0b 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-cluster-shared-handle-bind-privileged-port.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-cluster-shared-handle-bind-privileged-port.js
@@ -21,8 +21,8 @@ if (cluster.isMaster) {
     assert.strictEqual(exitCode, 0);
   }));
 } else {
-  const s = net.createServer(common.fail);
-  s.listen(42, common.fail.bind(null, 'listen should have failed'));
+  const s = net.createServer(common.mustNotCall());
+  s.listen(42, common.mustNotCall('listen should have failed'));
   s.on('error', common.mustCall(function(err) {
     assert.strictEqual(err.code, 'EACCES');
     process.disconnect();
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-console-instance.js b/test/parallel/test-console-instance.js
index 6b049f09b7d9e9..e74edfae2feaef 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-console-instance.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-console-instance.js
@@ -9,7 +9,7 @@ const err = new Stream();
 
 // ensure the Console instance doesn't write to the
 // process' "stdout" or "stderr" streams
-process.stdout.write = process.stderr.write = common.fail;
+process.stdout.write = process.stderr.write = common.mustNotCall();
 
 // make sure that the "Console" function exists
 assert.strictEqual('function', typeof Console);
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-crypto-pbkdf2.js b/test/parallel/test-crypto-pbkdf2.js
index 20ea5c7298199a..16d3cbab289c8f 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-crypto-pbkdf2.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-crypto-pbkdf2.js
@@ -63,27 +63,30 @@ assert.throws(function() {
 
 // Should not work with Infinity key length
 assert.throws(function() {
-  crypto.pbkdf2('password', 'salt', 1, Infinity, 'sha256', common.fail);
+  crypto.pbkdf2('password', 'salt', 1, Infinity, 'sha256',
+                common.mustNotCall());
 }, /^TypeError: Bad key length$/);
 
 // Should not work with negative Infinity key length
 assert.throws(function() {
-  crypto.pbkdf2('password', 'salt', 1, -Infinity, 'sha256', common.fail);
+  crypto.pbkdf2('password', 'salt', 1, -Infinity, 'sha256',
+                common.mustNotCall());
 }, /^TypeError: Bad key length$/);
 
 // Should not work with NaN key length
 assert.throws(function() {
-  crypto.pbkdf2('password', 'salt', 1, NaN, 'sha256', common.fail);
+  crypto.pbkdf2('password', 'salt', 1, NaN, 'sha256', common.mustNotCall());
 }, /^TypeError: Bad key length$/);
 
 // Should not work with negative key length
 assert.throws(function() {
-  crypto.pbkdf2('password', 'salt', 1, -1, 'sha256', common.fail);
+  crypto.pbkdf2('password', 'salt', 1, -1, 'sha256', common.mustNotCall());
 }, /^TypeError: Bad key length$/);
 
 // Should not work with key length that does not fit into 32 signed bits
 assert.throws(function() {
-  crypto.pbkdf2('password', 'salt', 1, 4073741824, 'sha256', common.fail);
+  crypto.pbkdf2('password', 'salt', 1, 4073741824, 'sha256',
+                common.mustNotCall());
 }, /^TypeError: Bad key length$/);
 
 // Should not get FATAL ERROR with empty password and salt
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-crypto-verify-failure.js b/test/parallel/test-crypto-verify-failure.js
index fdf0d6f6456dac..7e11522f6ddc85 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-crypto-verify-failure.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-crypto-verify-failure.js
@@ -41,7 +41,7 @@ server.listen(0, common.mustCall(() => {
   }, common.mustCall(() => {
     verify();
   }))
-    .on('error', common.fail)
+    .on('error', common.mustNotCall())
     .on('close', common.mustCall(() => {
       server.close();
     })).resume();
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-dgram-error-message-address.js b/test/parallel/test-dgram-error-message-address.js
index 3a87e8cabf3ca8..457883c573a43b 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-dgram-error-message-address.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-dgram-error-message-address.js
@@ -6,7 +6,7 @@ const dgram = require('dgram');
 // IPv4 Test
 const socket_ipv4 = dgram.createSocket('udp4');
 
-socket_ipv4.on('listening', common.fail);
+socket_ipv4.on('listening', common.mustNotCall());
 
 socket_ipv4.on('error', common.mustCall(function(e) {
   assert.strictEqual(e.port, undefined);
@@ -21,7 +21,7 @@ socket_ipv4.bind(0, '1.1.1.1');
 // IPv6 Test
 const socket_ipv6 = dgram.createSocket('udp6');
 
-socket_ipv6.on('listening', common.fail);
+socket_ipv6.on('listening', common.mustNotCall());
 
 socket_ipv6.on('error', common.mustCall(function(e) {
   // EAFNOSUPPORT or EPROTONOSUPPORT means IPv6 is disabled on this system.
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-dgram-unref.js b/test/parallel/test-dgram-unref.js
index da148d3216582d..6fcdf5d23e1717 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-dgram-unref.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-dgram-unref.js
@@ -16,4 +16,4 @@ const dgram = require('dgram');
   s.close(common.mustCall(() => s.unref()));
 }
 
-setTimeout(common.fail, 1000).unref();
+setTimeout(common.mustNotCall(), 1000).unref();
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-domain-multi.js b/test/parallel/test-domain-multi.js
index a38b6a2bc42bdf..ff974676b88291 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-domain-multi.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-domain-multi.js
@@ -8,7 +8,7 @@ const http = require('http');
 const a = domain.create();
 a.enter(); // this will be our "root" domain
 
-a.on('error', common.fail);
+a.on('error', common.mustNotCall());
 
 const server = http.createServer((req, res) => {
   // child domain of a.
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-event-emitter-remove-listeners.js b/test/parallel/test-event-emitter-remove-listeners.js
index 2253d20fef0c0b..dfdae52d1cf21d 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-event-emitter-remove-listeners.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-event-emitter-remove-listeners.js
@@ -20,7 +20,7 @@ function listener2() {}
 {
   const ee = new EventEmitter();
   ee.on('hello', listener1);
-  ee.on('removeListener', common.fail);
+  ee.on('removeListener', common.mustNotCall());
   ee.removeListener('hello', listener2);
   assert.deepStrictEqual([listener1], ee.listeners('hello'));
 }
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-force-repl.js b/test/parallel/test-force-repl.js
index 5507d7401b72d3..03246d269d7765 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-force-repl.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-force-repl.js
@@ -5,9 +5,9 @@ const spawn = require('child_process').spawn;
 
 // spawn a node child process in "interactive" mode (force the repl)
 const cp = spawn(process.execPath, ['-i']);
-const timeoutId = setTimeout(function() {
-  common.fail('timeout!');
-}, common.platformTimeout(5000)); // give node + the repl 5 seconds to start
+// give node + the repl 5 seconds to start
+const timeoutId = setTimeout(common.mustNotCall(),
+                             common.platformTimeout(5000));
 
 cp.stdout.setEncoding('utf8');
 
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-fs-read-stream-err.js b/test/parallel/test-fs-read-stream-err.js
index 32e9b02455e20a..144337ded482d8 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-fs-read-stream-err.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-fs-read-stream-err.js
@@ -38,5 +38,5 @@ fs.read = function() {
 };
 
 stream.on('data', (buf) => {
-  stream.on('data', () => common.fail("no more 'data' events should follow"));
+  stream.on('data', common.mustNotCall("no more 'data' events should follow"));
 });
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-http-abort-before-end.js b/test/parallel/test-http-abort-before-end.js
index 046f439cb33195..f8e0272d43e088 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-http-abort-before-end.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-http-abort-before-end.js
@@ -3,7 +3,7 @@ const common = require('../common');
 const http = require('http');
 const assert = require('assert');
 
-const server = http.createServer(common.fail);
+const server = http.createServer(common.mustNotCall());
 
 server.listen(0, function() {
   const req = http.request({
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-http-abort-queued-2.js b/test/parallel/test-http-abort-queued-2.js
index 77dc2a535b0e4f..ecb76c1f5ed6db 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-http-abort-queued-2.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-http-abort-queued-2.js
@@ -24,7 +24,7 @@ server.listen(0, common.mustCall(() => {
 
   http.get({agent, port}, (res) => res.resume());
 
-  const req = http.get({agent, port}, common.fail);
+  const req = http.get({agent, port}, common.mustNotCall());
   req.abort();
 
   http.get({agent, port}, common.mustCall((res) => {
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-http-bind-twice.js b/test/parallel/test-http-bind-twice.js
index f90905d3260f8a..bab6c0fe1e15d2 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-http-bind-twice.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-http-bind-twice.js
@@ -3,10 +3,10 @@ const common = require('../common');
 const assert = require('assert');
 const http = require('http');
 
-const server1 = http.createServer(common.fail);
+const server1 = http.createServer(common.mustNotCall());
 server1.listen(0, '127.0.0.1', common.mustCall(function() {
-  const server2 = http.createServer(common.fail);
-  server2.listen(this.address().port, '127.0.0.1', common.fail);
+  const server2 = http.createServer(common.mustNotCall());
+  server2.listen(this.address().port, '127.0.0.1', common.mustNotCall());
 
   server2.on('error', common.mustCall(function(e) {
     assert.strictEqual(e.code, 'EADDRINUSE');
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-http-client-abort-event.js b/test/parallel/test-http-client-abort-event.js
index b62186e724d919..0392060196405c 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-http-client-abort-event.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-http-client-abort-event.js
@@ -8,7 +8,7 @@ const server = http.createServer(function(req, res) {
 server.listen(0, common.mustCall(function() {
   const req = http.request({
     port: this.address().port
-  }, common.fail);
+  }, common.mustNotCall());
 
   req.on('abort', common.mustCall(function() {
     server.close();
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-http-client-abort-no-agent.js b/test/parallel/test-http-client-abort-no-agent.js
index 875d2ce6469d46..2f9fda96d49b65 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-http-client-abort-no-agent.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-http-client-abort-no-agent.js
@@ -3,7 +3,7 @@ const common = require('../common');
 const http = require('http');
 const net = require('net');
 
-const server = http.createServer(common.fail);
+const server = http.createServer(common.mustNotCall());
 
 server.listen(0, common.mustCall(() => {
   const req = http.get({
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-http-client-abort-unix-socket.js b/test/parallel/test-http-client-abort-unix-socket.js
index 0b7c5e5ddea6dd..3fb2cd9b869f45 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-http-client-abort-unix-socket.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-http-client-abort-unix-socket.js
@@ -2,7 +2,7 @@
 const common = require('../common');
 const http = require('http');
 
-const server = http.createServer(common.fail);
+const server = http.createServer(common.mustNotCall());
 
 class Agent extends http.Agent {
   createConnection(options, oncreate) {
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-http-client-reject-chunked-with-content-length.js b/test/parallel/test-http-client-reject-chunked-with-content-length.js
index 3d99f6ef406b1b..d29e37291dffde 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-http-client-reject-chunked-with-content-length.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-http-client-reject-chunked-with-content-length.js
@@ -17,9 +17,7 @@ server.listen(0, () => {
   // The callback should not be called because the server is sending
   // both a Content-Length header and a Transfer-Encoding: chunked
   // header, which is a violation of the HTTP spec.
-  const req = http.get({port: server.address().port}, (res) => {
-    common.fail('callback should not be called');
-  });
+  const req = http.get({port: server.address().port}, common.mustNotCall());
   req.on('error', common.mustCall((err) => {
     assert(/^Parse Error/.test(err.message));
     assert.strictEqual(err.code, 'HPE_UNEXPECTED_CONTENT_LENGTH');
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-http-client-reject-cr-no-lf.js b/test/parallel/test-http-client-reject-cr-no-lf.js
index 23530cbc7ae74c..03dfabf0d7f0f8 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-http-client-reject-cr-no-lf.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-http-client-reject-cr-no-lf.js
@@ -16,9 +16,7 @@ const server = net.createServer((socket) => {
 server.listen(0, () => {
   // The callback should not be called because the server is sending a
   // header field that ends only in \r with no following \n
-  const req = http.get({port: server.address().port}, (res) => {
-    common.fail('callback should not be called');
-  });
+  const req = http.get({port: server.address().port}, common.mustNotCall());
   req.on('error', common.mustCall((err) => {
     assert(/^Parse Error/.test(err.message));
     assert.strictEqual(err.code, 'HPE_LF_EXPECTED');
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-http-client-unescaped-path.js b/test/parallel/test-http-client-unescaped-path.js
index 1a74943e838259..eefae90541f66d 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-http-client-unescaped-path.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-http-client-unescaped-path.js
@@ -5,6 +5,6 @@ const http = require('http');
 
 for (let i = 0; i <= 32; i += 1) {
   const path = 'bad' + String.fromCharCode(i) + 'path';
-  assert.throws(() => http.get({ path }, common.fail),
+  assert.throws(() => http.get({ path }, common.mustNotCall()),
                 /contains unescaped characters/);
 }
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-http-connect-req-res.js b/test/parallel/test-http-connect-req-res.js
index 45881f0d7d7395..8af9ba55b467b6 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-http-connect-req-res.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-http-connect-req-res.js
@@ -3,7 +3,7 @@ const common = require('../common');
 const assert = require('assert');
 const http = require('http');
 
-const server = http.createServer(common.fail);
+const server = http.createServer(common.mustNotCall());
 server.on('connect', common.mustCall(function(req, socket, firstBodyChunk) {
   assert.strictEqual(req.method, 'CONNECT');
   assert.strictEqual(req.url, 'example.com:443');
@@ -31,7 +31,7 @@ server.listen(0, common.mustCall(function() {
     port: this.address().port,
     method: 'CONNECT',
     path: 'example.com:443'
-  }, common.fail);
+  }, common.mustNotCall());
 
   req.on('close', common.mustCall(function() { }));
 
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-http-connect.js b/test/parallel/test-http-connect.js
index fa2d8aaa4f1ccf..9eef52146b6971 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-http-connect.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-http-connect.js
@@ -3,7 +3,7 @@ const common = require('../common');
 const assert = require('assert');
 const http = require('http');
 
-const server = http.createServer(common.fail);
+const server = http.createServer(common.mustNotCall());
 
 server.on('connect', common.mustCall((req, socket, firstBodyChunk) => {
   assert.strictEqual(req.method, 'CONNECT');
@@ -26,7 +26,7 @@ server.listen(0, common.mustCall(function() {
     port: this.address().port,
     method: 'CONNECT',
     path: 'google.com:443'
-  }, common.fail);
+  }, common.mustNotCall());
 
   req.on('close', common.mustCall(() => {}));
 
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-http-destroyed-socket-write2.js b/test/parallel/test-http-destroyed-socket-write2.js
index 59e0eeecfc8a7a..c10e8eb15527d1 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-http-destroyed-socket-write2.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-http-destroyed-socket-write2.js
@@ -53,12 +53,8 @@ server.listen(0, function() {
   }));
 
   req.on('response', function(res) {
-    res.on('data', function(chunk) {
-      common.fail('Should not receive response data');
-    });
-    res.on('end', function() {
-      common.fail('Should not receive response end');
-    });
+    res.on('data', common.mustNotCall('Should not receive response data'));
+    res.on('end', common.mustNotCall('Should not receive response end'));
   });
 
   write();
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-http-host-headers.js b/test/parallel/test-http-host-headers.js
index 79a2833f7df148..a6667c64034835 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-http-host-headers.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-http-host-headers.js
@@ -38,7 +38,7 @@ function testHttp() {
       host: 'localhost',
       port: httpServer.address().port,
       rejectUnauthorized: false
-    }, cb).on('error', common.fail);
+    }, cb).on('error', common.mustNotCall());
 
     http.request({
       method: 'GET',
@@ -46,7 +46,7 @@ function testHttp() {
       host: 'localhost',
       port: httpServer.address().port,
       rejectUnauthorized: false
-    }, cb).on('error', common.fail).end();
+    }, cb).on('error', common.mustNotCall()).end();
 
     http.request({
       method: 'POST',
@@ -54,7 +54,7 @@ function testHttp() {
       host: 'localhost',
       port: httpServer.address().port,
       rejectUnauthorized: false
-    }, cb).on('error', common.fail).end();
+    }, cb).on('error', common.mustNotCall()).end();
 
     http.request({
       method: 'PUT',
@@ -62,7 +62,7 @@ function testHttp() {
       host: 'localhost',
       port: httpServer.address().port,
       rejectUnauthorized: false
-    }, cb).on('error', common.fail).end();
+    }, cb).on('error', common.mustNotCall()).end();
 
     http.request({
       method: 'DELETE',
@@ -70,6 +70,6 @@ function testHttp() {
       host: 'localhost',
       port: httpServer.address().port,
       rejectUnauthorized: false
-    }, cb).on('error', common.fail).end();
+    }, cb).on('error', common.mustNotCall()).end();
   });
 }
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-http-pipeline-flood.js b/test/parallel/test-http-pipeline-flood.js
index 99e4c3e7b5b9fe..d8ef0241542ee6 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-http-pipeline-flood.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-http-pipeline-flood.js
@@ -38,7 +38,7 @@ function parent() {
         // may still be asked to process more requests if they were read before
         // the flood-prevention mechanism activated.
         setImmediate(() => {
-          req.socket.on('data', () => common.fail('Unexpected data received'));
+          req.socket.on('data', common.mustNotCall('Unexpected data received'));
         });
       }
       backloggedReqs++;
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-http-server-reject-chunked-with-content-length.js b/test/parallel/test-http-server-reject-chunked-with-content-length.js
index b158fda75c5846..7fc76761b318ac 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-http-server-reject-chunked-with-content-length.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-http-server-reject-chunked-with-content-length.js
@@ -9,9 +9,7 @@ const reqstr = 'POST / HTTP/1.1\r\n' +
                'Content-Length: 1\r\n' +
                'Transfer-Encoding: chunked\r\n\r\n';
 
-const server = http.createServer((req, res) => {
-  common.fail('callback should not be invoked');
-});
+const server = http.createServer(common.mustNotCall());
 server.on('clientError', common.mustCall((err) => {
   assert(/^Parse Error/.test(err.message));
   assert.strictEqual(err.code, 'HPE_UNEXPECTED_CONTENT_LENGTH');
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-http-server-reject-cr-no-lf.js b/test/parallel/test-http-server-reject-cr-no-lf.js
index 73508cf08e9b7a..98217150376403 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-http-server-reject-cr-no-lf.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-http-server-reject-cr-no-lf.js
@@ -11,9 +11,7 @@ const str = 'GET / HTTP/1.1\r\n' +
             '\r\n';
 
 
-const server = http.createServer((req, res) => {
-  common.fail('this should not be called');
-});
+const server = http.createServer(common.mustNotCall());
 server.on('clientError', common.mustCall((err) => {
   assert(/^Parse Error/.test(err.message));
   assert.strictEqual(err.code, 'HPE_LF_EXPECTED');
@@ -21,9 +19,7 @@ server.on('clientError', common.mustCall((err) => {
 }));
 server.listen(0, () => {
   const client = net.connect({port: server.address().port}, () => {
-    client.on('data', (chunk) => {
-      common.fail('this should not be called');
-    });
+    client.on('data', common.mustNotCall());
     client.on('end', common.mustCall(() => {
       server.close();
     }));
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-http-server-unconsume-consume.js b/test/parallel/test-http-server-unconsume-consume.js
index d341093303c76f..248fd938af7226 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-http-server-unconsume-consume.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-http-server-unconsume-consume.js
@@ -2,10 +2,7 @@
 const common = require('../common');
 const http = require('http');
 
-const testServer = http.createServer((req, res) => {
-  common.fail('Should not be called');
-  res.end();
-});
+const testServer = http.createServer(common.mustNotCall());
 testServer.on('connect', common.mustCall((req, socket, head) => {
   socket.write('HTTP/1.1 200 Connection Established' + '\r\n' +
                'Proxy-agent: Node-Proxy' + '\r\n' +
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-http-set-trailers.js b/test/parallel/test-http-set-trailers.js
index 7b66933ecd12cd..def13aa89521de 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-http-set-trailers.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-http-set-trailers.js
@@ -53,7 +53,7 @@ server.on('listening', function() {
   c.on('connect', function() {
     outstanding_reqs++;
     c.write('GET / HTTP/1.1\r\n\r\n');
-    tid = setTimeout(common.fail, 2000, 'Couldn\'t find last chunk.');
+    tid = setTimeout(common.mustNotCall(), 2000, 'Couldn\'t find last chunk.');
   });
 
   c.on('data', function(chunk) {
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-https-agent-session-eviction.js b/test/parallel/test-https-agent-session-eviction.js
index 5a2c9061cd55cd..d27b968a4d0d10 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-https-agent-session-eviction.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-https-agent-session-eviction.js
@@ -81,6 +81,6 @@ function third(server) {
     assert(!req.socket.isSessionReused());
     server.close();
   });
-  req.on('error', common.fail);
+  req.on('error', common.mustNotCall());
   req.end();
 }
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-https-client-checkServerIdentity.js b/test/parallel/test-https-client-checkServerIdentity.js
index 688c7e22706e0e..08add334872bfb 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-https-client-checkServerIdentity.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-https-client-checkServerIdentity.js
@@ -29,7 +29,7 @@ function authorized() {
     port: server.address().port,
     rejectUnauthorized: true,
     ca: [fs.readFileSync(path.join(common.fixturesDir, 'keys/ca2-cert.pem'))]
-  }, common.fail);
+  }, common.mustNotCall());
   req.on('error', function(err) {
     override();
   });
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-https-client-reject.js b/test/parallel/test-https-client-reject.js
index 92bbabe8b3be90..c81c7f646dde01 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-https-client-reject.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-https-client-reject.js
@@ -44,7 +44,7 @@ function rejectUnauthorized() {
     port: server.address().port
   };
   options.agent = new https.Agent(options);
-  const req = https.request(options, common.fail);
+  const req = https.request(options, common.mustNotCall());
   req.on('error', function(err) {
     authorized();
   });
@@ -62,6 +62,6 @@ function authorized() {
     assert(req.socket.authorized);
     server.close();
   });
-  req.on('error', common.fail);
+  req.on('error', common.mustNotCall());
   req.end();
 }
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-https-connecting-to-http.js b/test/parallel/test-https-connecting-to-http.js
index ae8507f99cbc00..caeeca5d542430 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-https-connecting-to-http.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-https-connecting-to-http.js
@@ -10,10 +10,10 @@ if (!common.hasCrypto) {
 }
 const https = require('https');
 
-const server = http.createServer(common.fail);
+const server = http.createServer(common.mustNotCall());
 
 server.listen(0, common.mustCall(function() {
-  const req = https.get({ port: this.address().port }, common.fail);
+  const req = https.get({ port: this.address().port }, common.mustNotCall());
 
   req.on('error', common.mustCall(function(e) {
     console.log('Got expected error: ', e.message);
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-https-timeout-server-2.js b/test/parallel/test-https-timeout-server-2.js
index 8729af1ae8b4ba..ec629f39314959 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-https-timeout-server-2.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-https-timeout-server-2.js
@@ -17,7 +17,7 @@ const options = {
   cert: fs.readFileSync(common.fixturesDir + '/keys/agent1-cert.pem')
 };
 
-const server = https.createServer(options, common.fail);
+const server = https.createServer(options, common.mustNotCall());
 
 server.on('secureConnection', function(cleartext) {
   const s = cleartext.setTimeout(50, function() {
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-https-timeout-server.js b/test/parallel/test-https-timeout-server.js
index 04ccf0a64d2d7c..230ad6f64a03eb 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-https-timeout-server.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-https-timeout-server.js
@@ -17,7 +17,7 @@ const options = {
   handshakeTimeout: 50
 };
 
-const server = https.createServer(options, common.fail);
+const server = https.createServer(options, common.mustNotCall());
 
 server.on('clientError', common.mustCall(function(err, conn) {
   // Don't hesitate to update the asserts if the internal structure of
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-listen-fd-ebadf.js b/test/parallel/test-listen-fd-ebadf.js
index 86004e6af00437..dfa99e274a76e6 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-listen-fd-ebadf.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-listen-fd-ebadf.js
@@ -3,9 +3,9 @@ const common = require('../common');
 const assert = require('assert');
 const net = require('net');
 
-net.createServer(common.fail).listen({fd: 2})
+net.createServer(common.mustNotCall()).listen({fd: 2})
   .on('error', common.mustCall(onError));
-net.createServer(common.fail).listen({fd: 42})
+net.createServer(common.mustNotCall()).listen({fd: 42})
   .on('error', common.mustCall(onError));
 
 function onError(ex) {
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-net-better-error-messages-listen-path.js b/test/parallel/test-net-better-error-messages-listen-path.js
index 50ed80a5e3cd1e..02f02d9a4826f5 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-net-better-error-messages-listen-path.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-net-better-error-messages-listen-path.js
@@ -3,8 +3,8 @@ const common = require('../common');
 const assert = require('assert');
 const net = require('net');
 const fp = '/blah/fadfa';
-const server = net.createServer(common.fail);
-server.listen(fp, common.fail);
+const server = net.createServer(common.mustNotCall());
+server.listen(fp, common.mustNotCall());
 server.on('error', common.mustCall(function(e) {
   assert.strictEqual(e.address, fp);
 }));
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-net-better-error-messages-listen.js b/test/parallel/test-net-better-error-messages-listen.js
index 15ef4036aaa89a..aa1da2d46235d5 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-net-better-error-messages-listen.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-net-better-error-messages-listen.js
@@ -3,8 +3,8 @@ const common = require('../common');
 const assert = require('assert');
 const net = require('net');
 
-const server = net.createServer(common.fail);
-server.listen(1, '1.1.1.1', common.fail);
+const server = net.createServer(common.mustNotCall());
+server.listen(1, '1.1.1.1', common.mustNotCall());
 server.on('error', common.mustCall(function(e) {
   assert.strictEqual(e.address, '1.1.1.1');
   assert.strictEqual(e.port, 1);
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-net-better-error-messages-path.js b/test/parallel/test-net-better-error-messages-path.js
index 7cdc14b9bd4333..692e5c4cfe8d95 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-net-better-error-messages-path.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-net-better-error-messages-path.js
@@ -5,7 +5,7 @@ const assert = require('assert');
 const fp = '/tmp/fadagagsdfgsdf';
 const c = net.connect(fp);
 
-c.on('connect', common.fail);
+c.on('connect', common.mustNotCall());
 
 c.on('error', common.mustCall(function(e) {
   assert.strictEqual(e.code, 'ENOENT');
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-net-better-error-messages-port-hostname.js b/test/parallel/test-net-better-error-messages-port-hostname.js
index b08c35f3e63ea5..14f84eb15b1613 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-net-better-error-messages-port-hostname.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-net-better-error-messages-port-hostname.js
@@ -5,7 +5,7 @@ const assert = require('assert');
 
 const c = net.createConnection(common.PORT, '***');
 
-c.on('connect', common.fail);
+c.on('connect', common.mustNotCall());
 
 c.on('error', common.mustCall(function(e) {
   assert.strictEqual(e.code, 'ENOTFOUND');
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-net-better-error-messages-port.js b/test/parallel/test-net-better-error-messages-port.js
index 9d74438c5f923b..789b2e31801da1 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-net-better-error-messages-port.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-net-better-error-messages-port.js
@@ -5,7 +5,7 @@ const assert = require('assert');
 
 const c = net.createConnection(common.PORT);
 
-c.on('connect', common.fail);
+c.on('connect', common.mustNotCall());
 
 c.on('error', common.mustCall(function(e) {
   assert.strictEqual(e.code, 'ECONNREFUSED');
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-net-bind-twice.js b/test/parallel/test-net-bind-twice.js
index c10b4019e4b95f..6452a7a477eaa5 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-net-bind-twice.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-net-bind-twice.js
@@ -3,10 +3,10 @@ const common = require('../common');
 const assert = require('assert');
 const net = require('net');
 
-const server1 = net.createServer(common.fail);
+const server1 = net.createServer(common.mustNotCall());
 server1.listen(0, '127.0.0.1', common.mustCall(function() {
-  const server2 = net.createServer(common.fail);
-  server2.listen(this.address().port, '127.0.0.1', common.fail);
+  const server2 = net.createServer(common.mustNotCall());
+  server2.listen(this.address().port, '127.0.0.1', common.mustNotCall());
 
   server2.on('error', common.mustCall(function(e) {
     assert.strictEqual(e.code, 'EADDRINUSE');
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-net-connect-handle-econnrefused.js b/test/parallel/test-net-connect-handle-econnrefused.js
index 09b17ad29deb5e..029390353eb793 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-net-connect-handle-econnrefused.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-net-connect-handle-econnrefused.js
@@ -7,9 +7,7 @@ const assert = require('assert');
 // Hopefully nothing is running on common.PORT
 const c = net.createConnection(common.PORT);
 
-c.on('connect', function() {
-  common.fail('connected?!');
-});
+c.on('connect', common.mustNotCall());
 
 c.on('error', common.mustCall(function(e) {
   console.error('couldn\'t connect.');
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-net-connect-immediate-destroy.js b/test/parallel/test-net-connect-immediate-destroy.js
index f8d22d92d0a985..9a029b5d605a0d 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-net-connect-immediate-destroy.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-net-connect-immediate-destroy.js
@@ -2,6 +2,7 @@
 const common = require('../common');
 const net = require('net');
 
-const socket = net.connect(common.PORT, common.localhostIPv4, common.fail);
-socket.on('error', common.fail);
+const socket = net.connect(common.PORT, common.localhostIPv4,
+                           common.mustNotCall());
+socket.on('error', common.mustNotCall());
 socket.destroy();
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-net-connect-paused-connection.js b/test/parallel/test-net-connect-paused-connection.js
index a0a90eefc1db3e..867553e0eec702 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-net-connect-paused-connection.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-net-connect-paused-connection.js
@@ -8,7 +8,5 @@ net.createServer(function(conn) {
 }).listen(0, function() {
   net.connect(this.address().port, 'localhost').pause();
 
-  setTimeout(function() {
-    common.fail('expected to exit');
-  }, 1000).unref();
+  setTimeout(common.mustNotCall('expected to exit'), 1000).unref();
 }).unref();
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-net-dns-lookup-skip.js b/test/parallel/test-net-dns-lookup-skip.js
index 0997e6cc6c1c5d..06dbd5932b2c08 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-net-dns-lookup-skip.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-net-dns-lookup-skip.js
@@ -10,7 +10,8 @@ function check(addressType) {
 
   const address = addressType === 4 ? '127.0.0.1' : '::1';
   server.listen(0, address, function() {
-    net.connect(this.address().port, address).on('lookup', common.fail);
+    net.connect(this.address().port, address)
+      .on('lookup', common.mustNotCall());
   });
 }
 
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-net-listen-close-server-callback-is-not-function.js b/test/parallel/test-net-listen-close-server-callback-is-not-function.js
index 472ea37e7146b9..243ec038f75aeb 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-net-listen-close-server-callback-is-not-function.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-net-listen-close-server-callback-is-not-function.js
@@ -2,10 +2,10 @@
 const common = require('../common');
 const net = require('net');
 
-const server = net.createServer(common.fail);
+const server = net.createServer(common.mustNotCall());
 
 server.on('close', common.mustCall(function() {}));
 
-server.listen(0, common.fail);
+server.listen(0, common.mustNotCall());
 
 server.close('bad argument');
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-net-listen-close-server.js b/test/parallel/test-net-listen-close-server.js
index 0a45adecbe83e7..bf10252235f793 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-net-listen-close-server.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-net-listen-close-server.js
@@ -4,6 +4,6 @@ const net = require('net');
 
 const server = net.createServer(function(socket) {
 });
-server.listen(0, common.fail);
-server.on('error', common.fail);
+server.listen(0, common.mustNotCall());
+server.on('error', common.mustNotCall());
 server.close();
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-net-listen-error.js b/test/parallel/test-net-listen-error.js
index 7b721d1004f37f..d672226de7b37f 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-net-listen-error.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-net-listen-error.js
@@ -4,5 +4,5 @@ const net = require('net');
 
 const server = net.createServer(function(socket) {
 });
-server.listen(1, '1.1.1.1', common.fail); // EACCESS or EADDRNOTAVAIL
+server.listen(1, '1.1.1.1', common.mustNotCall()); // EACCESS or EADDRNOTAVAIL
 server.on('error', common.mustCall(function(error) {}));
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-net-listen-fd0.js b/test/parallel/test-net-listen-fd0.js
index f34f12ec22c771..ce7d11a992ba46 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-net-listen-fd0.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-net-listen-fd0.js
@@ -4,7 +4,7 @@ const assert = require('assert');
 const net = require('net');
 
 // This should fail with an async EINVAL error, not throw an exception
-net.createServer(common.fail)
+net.createServer(common.mustNotCall())
   .listen({fd: 0})
   .on('error', common.mustCall(function(e) {
     assert(e instanceof Error);
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-net-pause-resume-connecting.js b/test/parallel/test-net-pause-resume-connecting.js
index f441252fed6e70..1ae51d51fb25f2 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-net-pause-resume-connecting.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-net-pause-resume-connecting.js
@@ -34,7 +34,7 @@ server.listen(0, function() {
   // Client 3
   conn = require('net').createConnection(this.address().port, 'localhost');
   conn.pause();
-  conn.on('data', common.fail);
+  conn.on('data', common.mustNotCall());
   scheduleTearDown(conn);
 
 
@@ -51,7 +51,7 @@ server.listen(0, function() {
   conn.resume();
   conn.resume();
   conn.pause();
-  conn.on('data', common.fail);
+  conn.on('data', common.mustNotCall());
   scheduleTearDown(conn);
 
   function onDataOk() {
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-net-pingpong.js b/test/parallel/test-net-pingpong.js
index 9280991f39e5d9..b2f756c1ba7147 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-net-pingpong.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-net-pingpong.js
@@ -48,7 +48,7 @@ function pingPongTest(port, host) {
       socket.end();
     }));
 
-    socket.on('error', common.fail);
+    socket.on('error', common.mustNotCall());
 
     socket.on('close', common.mustCall(function() {
       assert.strictEqual(socket.writable, false);
@@ -99,7 +99,7 @@ function pingPongTest(port, host) {
       assert.strictEqual(sent_final_ping, true);
     }));
 
-    client.on('error', common.fail);
+    client.on('error', common.mustNotCall());
   }));
 }
 
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-net-pipe-connect-errors.js b/test/parallel/test-net-pipe-connect-errors.js
index 2c1332efa11429..6dc2a340651ef1 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-net-pipe-connect-errors.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-net-pipe-connect-errors.js
@@ -57,9 +57,8 @@ noEntSocketClient.on('error', common.mustCall(function(err) {
 // On Windows or when running as root, a chmod has no effect on named pipes
 if (!common.isWindows && process.getuid() !== 0) {
   // Trying to connect to a socket one has no access to should result in EACCES
-  const accessServer = net.createServer(function() {
-    common.fail('server callback should not run');
-  });
+  const accessServer = net.createServer(
+    common.mustNotCall('server callback should not run'));
   accessServer.listen(common.PIPE, common.mustCall(function() {
     fs.chmodSync(common.PIPE, 0);
 
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-net-server-unref-persistent.js b/test/parallel/test-net-server-unref-persistent.js
index beb91832ea9448..9b9460635df3ca 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-net-server-unref-persistent.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-net-server-unref-persistent.js
@@ -9,4 +9,4 @@ server.listen();
 
 // If the timeout fires, that means the server held the event loop open
 // and the unref() was not persistent. Close the server and fail the test.
-setTimeout(common.fail, 1000).unref();
+setTimeout(common.mustNotCall(), 1000).unref();
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-net-server-unref.js b/test/parallel/test-net-server-unref.js
index 60df9fc700ec64..d49c4472e19b4c 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-net-server-unref.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-net-server-unref.js
@@ -6,4 +6,4 @@ const s = net.createServer();
 s.listen(0);
 s.unref();
 
-setTimeout(common.fail, 1000).unref();
+setTimeout(common.mustNotCall(), 1000).unref();
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-net-settimeout.js b/test/parallel/test-net-settimeout.js
index 688937fe46300c..840b1dba99b3e2 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-net-settimeout.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-net-settimeout.js
@@ -15,9 +15,7 @@ const server = net.createServer(common.mustCall((c) => {
 server.listen(0, function() {
   const socket = net.createConnection(this.address().port, 'localhost');
 
-  const s = socket.setTimeout(T, () => {
-    common.fail('Socket timeout event is not expected to fire');
-  });
+  const s = socket.setTimeout(T, common.mustNotCall());
   assert.ok(s instanceof net.Socket);
 
   socket.on('data', common.mustCall(() => {
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-next-tick.js b/test/parallel/test-next-tick.js
index 9d2b1917fae2f7..001e8a2e471e03 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-next-tick.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-next-tick.js
@@ -22,5 +22,5 @@ process.nextTick(function(a, b) {
 }, 42, obj);
 
 process.on('exit', function() {
-  process.nextTick(common.fail);
+  process.nextTick(common.mustNotCall());
 });
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-pipe-address.js b/test/parallel/test-pipe-address.js
index 49f6802d3f7c7a..10552abee7b60f 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-pipe-address.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-pipe-address.js
@@ -2,7 +2,7 @@
 const common = require('../common');
 const assert = require('assert');
 const net = require('net');
-const server = net.createServer(common.fail);
+const server = net.createServer(common.mustNotCall());
 
 common.refreshTmpDir();
 
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-pipe-unref.js b/test/parallel/test-pipe-unref.js
index 34b5ef651bf6aa..17caa01ef0149d 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-pipe-unref.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-pipe-unref.js
@@ -8,4 +8,4 @@ const s = net.Server();
 s.listen(common.PIPE);
 s.unref();
 
-setTimeout(common.fail, 1000).unref();
+setTimeout(common.mustNotCall(), 1000).unref();
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-process-exit-from-before-exit.js b/test/parallel/test-process-exit-from-before-exit.js
index 82458217c6f062..e3c3ab208f7814 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-process-exit-from-before-exit.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-process-exit-from-before-exit.js
@@ -2,7 +2,7 @@
 const common = require('../common');
 
 process.on('beforeExit', common.mustCall(function() {
-  setTimeout(common.fail, 5);
+  setTimeout(common.mustNotCall(), 5);
   process.exit(0);  // Should execute immediately even if we schedule new work.
   common.fail();
 }));
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-regress-GH-5727.js b/test/parallel/test-regress-GH-5727.js
index 5fe9776d9b30fc..8cbec2a178a5f7 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-regress-GH-5727.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-regress-GH-5727.js
@@ -16,15 +16,15 @@ net.Server().listen(common.PORT, function() {
 
 // The first argument is a configuration object
 assert.throws(() => {
-  net.Server().listen({ port: invalidPort }, common.fail);
+  net.Server().listen({ port: invalidPort }, common.mustNotCall());
 }, errorMessage);
 
 // The first argument is the port, no IP given.
 assert.throws(() => {
-  net.Server().listen(invalidPort, common.fail);
+  net.Server().listen(invalidPort, common.mustNotCall());
 }, errorMessage);
 
 // The first argument is the port, the second an IP.
 assert.throws(() => {
-  net.Server().listen(invalidPort, '0.0.0.0', common.fail);
+  net.Server().listen(invalidPort, '0.0.0.0', common.mustNotCall());
 }, errorMessage);
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-repl-tab.js b/test/parallel/test-repl-tab.js
index 2cdf7b9e0ae75e..6b86cd0ebea043 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-repl-tab.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-repl-tab.js
@@ -11,7 +11,7 @@ const testMe = repl.start('', putIn, function(cmd, context,
   callback(null, cmd);
 });
 
-testMe._domain.on('error', common.fail);
+testMe._domain.on('error', common.mustNotCall());
 
 testMe.complete('', function(err, results) {
   assert.strictEqual(err, null);
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-signal-handler.js b/test/parallel/test-signal-handler.js
index b796ebb11d211c..f1dc26b4cef6dd 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-signal-handler.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-signal-handler.js
@@ -29,7 +29,7 @@ setInterval(function() {
 
 // Test on condition where a watcher for SIGNAL
 // has been previously registered, and `process.listeners(SIGNAL).length === 1`
-process.on('SIGHUP', function() { common.fail('should not run'); });
+process.on('SIGHUP', common.mustNotCall());
 process.removeAllListeners('SIGHUP');
 process.on('SIGHUP', common.mustCall(function() {}));
 process.kill(process.pid, 'SIGHUP');
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-stream-pipe-unpipe-streams.js b/test/parallel/test-stream-pipe-unpipe-streams.js
index 79719add3700fc..7e425aec1e379e 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-stream-pipe-unpipe-streams.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-stream-pipe-unpipe-streams.js
@@ -25,7 +25,7 @@ source.unpipe(dest2);
 assert.strictEqual(source._readableState.pipes, dest1);
 assert.notStrictEqual(source._readableState.pipes, dest2);
 
-dest2.on('unpipe', common.fail);
+dest2.on('unpipe', common.mustNotCall());
 source.unpipe(dest2);
 
 source.unpipe(dest1);
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-stream-readable-event.js b/test/parallel/test-stream-readable-event.js
index a8536bdcbab861..626858ab914857 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-stream-readable-event.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-stream-readable-event.js
@@ -11,7 +11,7 @@ const Readable = require('stream').Readable;
     highWaterMark: 3
   });
 
-  r._read = common.fail;
+  r._read = common.mustNotCall();
 
   // This triggers a 'readable' event, which is lost.
   r.push(Buffer.from('blerg'));
@@ -50,7 +50,7 @@ const Readable = require('stream').Readable;
     highWaterMark: 30
   });
 
-  r._read = common.fail;
+  r._read = common.mustNotCall();
 
   // This triggers a 'readable' event, which is lost.
   r.push(Buffer.from('blerg'));
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-timers-regress-GH-9765.js b/test/parallel/test-timers-regress-GH-9765.js
index 71169fa0d1704c..49adc390fa7bb5 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-timers-regress-GH-9765.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-timers-regress-GH-9765.js
@@ -14,10 +14,6 @@ setImmediate(common.mustCall(function() {
   clearImmediate(i3);
 }));
 
-const i2 = setImmediate(function() {
-  common.fail('immediate callback should not have fired');
-});
+const i2 = setImmediate(common.mustNotCall());
 
-const i3 = setImmediate(function() {
-  common.fail('immediate callback should not have fired');
-});
+const i3 = setImmediate(common.mustNotCall());
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-timers-same-timeout-wrong-list-deleted.js b/test/parallel/test-timers-same-timeout-wrong-list-deleted.js
index 8a622b32e434af..c66ba0a57efa11 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-timers-same-timeout-wrong-list-deleted.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-timers-same-timeout-wrong-list-deleted.js
@@ -22,9 +22,7 @@ const handle1 = setTimeout(common.mustCall(function() {
   clearTimeout(handle1);
 
   // Cause a new list with the same key (TIMEOUT) to be created for this timer
-  const handle2 = setTimeout(function() {
-    common.fail('Inner callback is not called');
-  }, TIMEOUT);
+  const handle2 = setTimeout(common.mustNotCall(), TIMEOUT);
 
   setTimeout(common.mustCall(function() {
     // Attempt to cancel the second timer. Fix for this bug will keep the
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-timers-unref-remove-other-unref-timers.js b/test/parallel/test-timers-unref-remove-other-unref-timers.js
index dcc50a5171ad28..7b4f55abe79a82 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-timers-unref-remove-other-unref-timers.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-timers-unref-remove-other-unref-timers.js
@@ -10,7 +10,7 @@ const common = require('../common');
 const timers = require('timers');
 
 const foo = {
-  _onTimeout: common.fail
+  _onTimeout: common.mustNotCall('_onTimeout should not be called')
 };
 
 const bar = {
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-tls-cipher-list.js b/test/parallel/test-tls-cipher-list.js
index 1533900f861177..912fb6412859bf 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-tls-cipher-list.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-tls-cipher-list.js
@@ -17,12 +17,12 @@ function doCheck(arg, check) {
     'require("crypto").constants.defaultCipherList'
   ]);
   spawn(process.execPath, arg, {})
-    .on('error', common.fail)
+    .on('error', common.mustNotCall())
     .stdout.on('data', function(chunk) {
       out += chunk;
     }).on('end', function() {
       assert.strictEqual(out.trim(), check);
-    }).on('error', common.fail);
+    }).on('error', common.mustNotCall());
 }
 
 // test the default unmodified version
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-tls-client-abort2.js b/test/parallel/test-tls-client-abort2.js
index 3247a2899acdfb..3698db7a3cf6d0 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-tls-client-abort2.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-tls-client-abort2.js
@@ -8,7 +8,7 @@ if (!common.hasCrypto) {
 }
 const tls = require('tls');
 
-const conn = tls.connect(common.PORT, common.fail);
+const conn = tls.connect(common.PORT, common.mustNotCall());
 conn.on('error', common.mustCall(function() {
   assert.doesNotThrow(function() {
     conn.destroy();
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-tls-client-mindhsize.js b/test/parallel/test-tls-client-mindhsize.js
index 6bbf90030e85c2..a2b480f51e1326 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-tls-client-mindhsize.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-tls-client-mindhsize.js
@@ -75,7 +75,7 @@ function testDHE2048() {
 
 testDHE1024();
 
-assert.throws(() => test(512, true, common.fail),
+assert.throws(() => test(512, true, common.mustNotCall()),
               /DH parameter is less than 1024 bits/);
 
 [0, -1, -Infinity, NaN].forEach((minDHSize) => {
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-tls-client-reject.js b/test/parallel/test-tls-client-reject.js
index 5868472c121517..003de4b8a38241 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-tls-client-reject.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-tls-client-reject.js
@@ -35,14 +35,14 @@ function unauthorized() {
     socket.end();
     rejectUnauthorized();
   }));
-  socket.on('error', common.fail);
+  socket.on('error', common.mustNotCall());
   socket.write('ok');
 }
 
 function rejectUnauthorized() {
   const socket = tls.connect(server.address().port, {
     servername: 'localhost'
-  }, common.fail);
+  }, common.mustNotCall());
   socket.on('error', common.mustCall(function(err) {
     console.error(err);
     authorized();
@@ -59,6 +59,6 @@ function authorized() {
     socket.end();
     server.close();
   }));
-  socket.on('error', common.fail);
+  socket.on('error', common.mustNotCall());
   socket.write('ok');
 }
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-tls-ecdh-disable.js b/test/parallel/test-tls-ecdh-disable.js
index d309102368aaa4..eec22c3cd34c8b 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-tls-ecdh-disable.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-tls-ecdh-disable.js
@@ -24,7 +24,7 @@ const options = {
   ecdhCurve: false
 };
 
-const server = tls.createServer(options, common.fail);
+const server = tls.createServer(options, common.mustNotCall());
 
 server.listen(0, '127.0.0.1', common.mustCall(function() {
   let cmd = '"' + common.opensslCli + '" s_client -cipher ' + options.ciphers +
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-tls-empty-sni-context.js b/test/parallel/test-tls-empty-sni-context.js
index 9e022c9c6a8804..e68378fb4eac50 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-tls-empty-sni-context.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-tls-empty-sni-context.js
@@ -31,9 +31,7 @@ const server = tls.createServer(options, (c) => {
     port: server.address().port,
     rejectUnauthorized: false,
     servername: 'any.name'
-  }, () => {
-    common.fail('Should not be called');
-  });
+  }, common.mustNotCall());
 
   c.on('error', common.mustCall((err) => {
     assert(/socket hang up/.test(err.message));
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-tls-junk-closes-server.js b/test/parallel/test-tls-junk-closes-server.js
index 38f90498f84e92..1ecc83da2d77d1 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-tls-junk-closes-server.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-tls-junk-closes-server.js
@@ -15,7 +15,7 @@ const options = {
   cert: fs.readFileSync(common.fixturesDir + '/keys/agent2-cert.pem')
 };
 
-const server = tls.createServer(options, common.fail);
+const server = tls.createServer(options, common.mustNotCall());
 
 server.listen(0, common.mustCall(function() {
   const c = net.createConnection(this.address().port);
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-tls-no-sslv3.js b/test/parallel/test-tls-no-sslv3.js
index fbc7a629611b0d..e7ee788a35ca17 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-tls-no-sslv3.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-tls-no-sslv3.js
@@ -18,7 +18,7 @@ if (common.opensslCli === false) {
 
 const cert = fs.readFileSync(common.fixturesDir + '/test_cert.pem');
 const key = fs.readFileSync(common.fixturesDir + '/test_key.pem');
-const server = tls.createServer({ cert: cert, key: key }, common.fail);
+const server = tls.createServer({ cert: cert, key: key }, common.mustNotCall());
 const errors = [];
 let stderr = '';
 
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-tls-timeout-server.js b/test/parallel/test-tls-timeout-server.js
index 72ee6d01629429..5720317dd0a10f 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-tls-timeout-server.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-tls-timeout-server.js
@@ -16,7 +16,7 @@ const options = {
   handshakeTimeout: 50
 };
 
-const server = tls.createServer(options, common.fail);
+const server = tls.createServer(options, common.mustNotCall());
 
 server.on('tlsClientError', common.mustCall(function(err, conn) {
   conn.destroy();
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-tls-zero-clear-in.js b/test/parallel/test-tls-zero-clear-in.js
index 23542888c3d57f..c738a0afce988b 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-tls-zero-clear-in.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-tls-zero-clear-in.js
@@ -38,5 +38,5 @@ const server = tls.createServer({
   // treated as error.
   conn.end('');
 
-  conn.on('error', common.fail);
+  conn.on('error', common.mustNotCall());
 }));
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-vm-debug-context.js b/test/parallel/test-vm-debug-context.js
index 5cc23bb6f39148..2a248fe25ceb71 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-vm-debug-context.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-vm-debug-context.js
@@ -76,7 +76,7 @@ assert.strictEqual(vm.runInDebugContext(undefined), undefined);
 const script = common.fixturesDir + '/vm-run-in-debug-context.js';
 let proc = spawn(process.execPath, [script]);
 const data = [];
-proc.stdout.on('data', common.fail);
+proc.stdout.on('data', common.mustNotCall());
 proc.stderr.on('data', data.push.bind(data));
 proc.stderr.once('end', common.mustCall(function() {
   const haystack = Buffer.concat(data).toString('utf8');
@@ -88,8 +88,8 @@ proc.once('exit', common.mustCall(function(exitCode, signalCode) {
 }));
 
 proc = spawn(process.execPath, [script, 'handle-fatal-exception']);
-proc.stdout.on('data', common.fail);
-proc.stderr.on('data', common.fail);
+proc.stdout.on('data', common.mustNotCall());
+proc.stderr.on('data', common.mustNotCall());
 proc.once('exit', common.mustCall(function(exitCode, signalCode) {
   assert.strictEqual(exitCode, 42);
   assert.strictEqual(signalCode, null);
diff --git a/test/parallel/test-zerolengthbufferbug.js b/test/parallel/test-zerolengthbufferbug.js
index 42e6994e1b6389..913e71fa8d7a1a 100644
--- a/test/parallel/test-zerolengthbufferbug.js
+++ b/test/parallel/test-zerolengthbufferbug.js
@@ -15,7 +15,7 @@ const server = http.createServer(function(req, res) {
 server.listen(0, common.mustCall(function() {
   http.get({ port: this.address().port }, common.mustCall(function(res) {
 
-    res.on('data', common.fail);
+    res.on('data', common.mustNotCall());
 
     res.on('end', function(d) {
       server.close();
diff --git a/test/pummel/test-fs-watch-non-recursive.js b/test/pummel/test-fs-watch-non-recursive.js
index b7c19b9c360818..183733dda819dd 100644
--- a/test/pummel/test-fs-watch-non-recursive.js
+++ b/test/pummel/test-fs-watch-non-recursive.js
@@ -18,7 +18,7 @@ try { fs.mkdirSync(testsubdir, 0o700); } catch (e) {}
 
 // Need a grace period, else the mkdirSync() above fires off an event.
 setTimeout(function() {
-  const watcher = fs.watch(testDir, { persistent: true }, common.fail);
+  const watcher = fs.watch(testDir, { persistent: true }, common.mustNotCall());
   setTimeout(function() {
     fs.writeFileSync(filepath, 'test');
   }, 100);
diff --git a/test/pummel/test-net-timeout2.js b/test/pummel/test-net-timeout2.js
index a3d0abceb6c765..113e32523792f2 100644
--- a/test/pummel/test-net-timeout2.js
+++ b/test/pummel/test-net-timeout2.js
@@ -9,7 +9,7 @@ const seconds = 5;
 let counter = 0;
 
 const server = net.createServer(function(socket) {
-  socket.setTimeout((seconds / 2) * 1000, common.fail);
+  socket.setTimeout((seconds / 2) * 1000, common.mustNotCall());
 
   const interval = setInterval(function() {
     counter++;
diff --git a/test/sequential/test-child-process-emfile.js b/test/sequential/test-child-process-emfile.js
index 55712b405af035..ff141bdf4bfcf0 100644
--- a/test/sequential/test-child-process-emfile.js
+++ b/test/sequential/test-child-process-emfile.js
@@ -43,9 +43,7 @@ proc.on('error', common.mustCall(function(err) {
   assert.strictEqual(err.code, 'EMFILE');
 }));
 
-proc.on('exit', function() {
-  common.fail('"exit" should not be emitted (the process never spawned!)');
-});
+proc.on('exit', common.mustNotCall('"exit" event should not be emitted'));
 
 // close one fd for LSan
 if (openFds.length >= 1) {
diff --git a/test/sequential/test-http-server-consumed-timeout.js b/test/sequential/test-http-server-consumed-timeout.js
index 799992e2c4a6ba..e6157a0a1d9200 100644
--- a/test/sequential/test-http-server-consumed-timeout.js
+++ b/test/sequential/test-http-server-consumed-timeout.js
@@ -9,9 +9,8 @@ const server = http.createServer((req, res) => {
   res.writeHead(200);
   res.flushHeaders();
 
-  req.setTimeout(common.platformTimeout(200), () => {
-    common.fail('Request timeout should not fire');
-  });
+  req.setTimeout(common.platformTimeout(200),
+                 common.mustNotCall('Request timeout should not fire'));
   req.resume();
   req.once('end', common.mustCall(() => {
     res.end();
diff --git a/test/sequential/test-https-set-timeout-server.js b/test/sequential/test-https-set-timeout-server.js
index 336e3c353c60da..9087588b55d803 100644
--- a/test/sequential/test-https-set-timeout-server.js
+++ b/test/sequential/test-https-set-timeout-server.js
@@ -97,7 +97,7 @@ test(function serverResponseTimeout(cb) {
 test(function serverRequestNotTimeoutAfterEnd(cb) {
   function handler(req, res) {
     // just do nothing, we should get a timeout event.
-    req.setTimeout(50, common.fail);
+    req.setTimeout(50, common.mustNotCall());
     res.on('timeout', common.mustCall(function(socket) {}));
   }
   const server = https.createServer(serverOptions, common.mustCall(handler));
@@ -147,8 +147,8 @@ test(function serverResponseTimeoutWithPipeline(cb) {
 test(function idleTimeout(cb) {
   const server = https.createServer(serverOptions,
                                     common.mustCall(function(req, res) {
-                                      req.on('timeout', common.fail);
-                                      res.on('timeout', common.fail);
+                                      req.on('timeout', common.mustNotCall());
+                                      res.on('timeout', common.mustNotCall());
                                       res.end();
                                     }));
   server.setTimeout(50, common.mustCall(function(socket) {
diff --git a/test/sequential/test-net-server-address.js b/test/sequential/test-net-server-address.js
index 5cb232670bf241..75fe14812962ea 100644
--- a/test/sequential/test-net-server-address.js
+++ b/test/sequential/test-net-server-address.js
@@ -7,7 +7,7 @@ const net = require('net');
 const family_ipv4 = 'IPv4';
 const server_ipv4 = net.createServer();
 
-server_ipv4.on('error', common.fail);
+server_ipv4.on('error', common.mustNotCall());
 
 server_ipv4
   .listen(common.PORT + 1, common.localhostIPv4, common.mustCall(() => {
@@ -28,7 +28,7 @@ const localhost_ipv6 = '::1';
 const family_ipv6 = 'IPv6';
 const server_ipv6 = net.createServer();
 
-server_ipv6.on('error', common.fail);
+server_ipv6.on('error', common.mustNotCall());
 
 server_ipv6.listen(common.PORT + 2, localhost_ipv6, common.mustCall(() => {
   const address_ipv6 = server_ipv6.address();
@@ -42,7 +42,7 @@ server_ipv6.listen(common.PORT + 2, localhost_ipv6, common.mustCall(() => {
 const anycast_ipv6 = '::';
 const server1 = net.createServer();
 
-server1.on('error', common.fail);
+server1.on('error', common.mustNotCall());
 
 // Specify the port number
 server1.listen(common.PORT + 3, common.mustCall(() => {
@@ -56,7 +56,7 @@ server1.listen(common.PORT + 3, common.mustCall(() => {
 // Test without hostname or port
 const server2 = net.createServer();
 
-server2.on('error', common.fail);
+server2.on('error', common.mustNotCall());
 
 // Don't specify the port number
 server2.listen(common.mustCall(() => {
@@ -69,7 +69,7 @@ server2.listen(common.mustCall(() => {
 // Test without hostname, but with a false-y port
 const server3 = net.createServer();
 
-server3.on('error', common.fail);
+server3.on('error', common.mustNotCall());
 
 // Specify a false-y port number
 server3.listen(0, common.mustCall(() => {